• Home

    Uncommon Bonds (UB) is based in Christchurch, New Zealand. We are a non-profit pansexual organization that brings together a lively, creative and fun-loving group of people with wide-ranging interests in BDSM. You must be 18 years of age or older to join.

    We hold monthly social get-togethers called munches. These take the form of a meet and greet, where newcomers are welcome to come and learn more. We hold regular play parties, which give an opportunity to observe, learn, give expression to your BDSM interests, and explore new areas in a safe, fun environment. We also hold regular workshops designed to educate and inform, on a wide variety of topics.

    New members and new ideas are always welcome. Check the calendar for details of our next munch and come along. Munches are held on the second Tuesday of every month.

    Contact one of our Greeters, e-mail info@uncommonbonds.org.nz, or phone  (0275) 374 919 for information and venue details.

    We also have a number of Special Interest Groups (SIGs) to cater for specific areas of common interest. Check our SIGs pages for more information on the current line up.

    UB promotes safe, sane and consensual BDSM.

    • UB cannot be responsible for the actions of individuals in private situations. Claims of years of experience or membership of the UB group is no guarantee of experience or safety.
    • We recommend you take every possible action to ensure your own safety when meeting a potential BDSM partner, including checking references within your local BDSM community.

    Even if you're not local, the Uncommon Bonds mailing list will keep you in contact with like minded people from in and around Christchurch.

  • SIGs
    • What Is A SIG

      Special Interest Groups

      As Uncommon Bonds grows, a growing number of SIGs, or Special Interest Groups, have formed, to cater for various needs within our community. Each of these SIGs is part of the overall Uncommon Bonds "family", and shares in the resources and life of the local BDSM community.

      These SIG groups might just have occasional informal coffee and chat sessions, they might get together to discuss specific areas of common interest, or they may well organize major events on their own behalf.

      Below is the list of current UB SIGs. Explore what’s on offer, and see what piques your interest!

      Note that many of these SIGs have an online presence on FetLife. This is a free to join website for the global fetish community. We’ve added handy links where relevant in the descriptions below.

    • ARC - Animal Roleplay, Canterbury

      ARC is a community for those interested in, or curious about animal role play. We will host discussions and events in the Canterbury area, and all are welcome to attend.

      There is a Fetlife discussion group here

    • Canterbury S/M SIG

      Canterbury S/M SIG is aimed at all those delicious dark people in Canterbury who are interested or involved in the wonderful world that is Sadomasochism. Whether you identify as a Sadomasochist, Sadist or Masochist, this is where we like to play.

      The S/M SIG focuses on those players who enjoy more extreme type of play. We relish it, love it, are excited by it or just roll in the blood bath like pigs in muck! Ok, we love blood ... lots of blood!

      We enjoy education and run '201 (the next level) Workshops' on a reasonably regular basis, such as Heavy Impact, Master/slave Dynamics, Interrogation & Torture, Sadistic Electricity, Processing Pain, A Sadists Point of View, Humiliation, Water Sports (not just pee!) and so on. We hold monthly meetings, parties and occasionally pain inducing events.

      We are naturally non pc, have rather dark senses of humor and are often just simply brutal, but of course we're very friendly! You're welcome to share your thoughts, ideas and conversations about the world of Sadomasochism.

      Check out the SIGs FetLife group here

    • DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl)

      DD/lg Christchurch is a social group aimed towards anyone who identifies as:

      • Daddy Dom
      • Mommy Domme
      • Caregiver
      • babygirl/babyboy
      • little
      • middle
      • adult baby

      This group aims to hold regular social activities to form bonds of friendship within the Christchurch DD/lg community.

      There is a Fetlife Group for the SIG here

    • Equipment SIG

      The Equipment SIG is for anyone with an interest in making their own toys and equipment.

      A friendly social group we get together most months and share ideas. We spend most of our time helping each other with those tricky bits and pieces.

      The SIG also comes up with ideas for new and improved club equipment. These are designed and costed, then approved by the group as a whole, before they are built. If you have any ideas for equipment you would like to see added, this is the place to be.

      UB has a range of equipment that we use for our parties. Members are welcome to borrow items with certain conditions.

      Watch the mailing list or calendar for details of the next meeting.

    • FemmeDomme SIG

      The Femme Dommes of Uncommon Bonds are a diverse group of women who have joined together for the common purpose of exploring Female Dominance within the practice of BDSM.

      We are lifestyle Femme Dommes who are interested in Female Dominance in our private and personal lives.  Some of us have submissive partners. Some of us are single.  Some of us have vanilla partners. And some of us are people searching for where we fit.

      We welcome participation from all Femme Dommes, submissives and switches interested in Female Dominance within BDSM .

      If you want to know more, e-mail femmedomme@uncommonbonds.org.nz or  the Femme Domme SIG Greeter, Freedom.

    • Rope Skill Share

      This is a group for those that are interested in rope in the Canterbury and surrounding areas.

      At present there are monthly rope skill shares on the third Sunday of each month, between 1 and 4pm. Cost is $5 to attend.

      There is a FetLife group for this SIG here

    • subSIG

      The subSIG is open to all submissives regardless of age or gender.  If you aren’t quite sure if you’re a sub, or you’re a switch who wants to explore your submissive side, you’re welcome too.

      The subSIG generally meets on the first Tuesday evening in each month, but do keep an eye on the mailing list. It is usually held at a private venue, e-mail for address details. We try and have a discussion topic at each meeting, but don’t feel that’s all you can talk about!

      If you want to know when the next meeting will be, send an e-mail to subSIG@uncommonbonds.org.nz

      subSIG meetings involve chatting about matters that are of interest to submissives, as well as plenty of general socializing and chat.  There’s also a bit of a focus on the education and learning side, as well as pooling resources and useful information.

      So if you’re interested, get in touch and come along for a tea, coffee and a scone - if there are any left!

    • Twisted Misters

      Twisted Misters is for men to socialise, make friends and share knowledge/experience among men in the kink lifestyle.

      Our aim is to build a better, friendlier kink community by supporting men to have healthy relationships.

      Twisted Mister events are open to men including cis and transgender men who have established their identity as a man and live as a man in their everyday lives. We acknowledge that some flexibility may be required and we will consider exceptions on a case-by-case basis.

      It is open to men of all kink persuasions - dominant, submissive, top, bottom, switch, CD/TV etc.

      Twisted Misters is affiliated with Twisted Misters Australia. See the FetLife page for more information

    • Other local interest groups

      TNG (The Next Generation) - Christchurch TNG is a group established to promote and facilitate the gathering of 18 - 35 and significant others with an emphasis on socialisation, education and kinship. It is npt an official UB SIG, but many of its members are also members of UB, and they have a close working relationship with UB.

      See their FetLife page here

  • Information
    • FAQs

      There is an extensive list of Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ’s) that we recommend you take some time to read through. They cover many details of how Uncommon Bonds works, what various terms mean, and the like. You’ll need Adobe Acrobat to open it.

      Click here to take a look!

    • Pamphlets

      We have a number of pamphlets available that you can read online, or download and print.

      These were originated by Whisper Enterprises and are hosted here with permission of the author.   You’ll need Adobe Acrobat to read them.  Further information is hosted on the BDSM.GEN.NZ web site.


  • Membership

    Uncommon Bonds is a pansexual BDSM group, open to all aspects of the lifestyle, and is located in Christchurch, New Zealand. We hold a meeting on the second Tuesday night of every month (a “munch”) which is a combination of friendly social gathering and a planning session for the group. It is normal for newcomers to first have contact with the group at such a function.

    There is no official “membership” of Uncommon Bonds - if you turn up to a meeting, and say you belong, then that’s pretty much all you need to do to belong. We do insist that members are at least 18 years of age. If you look under 25, don’t be offended if we ask you to prove you’re over 18 - it’s for everyone’s protection, yours included! There are some exclusions - if you have convictions for sexual or violent offenses, you are likely not welcome. If in doubt, make sure you ask.

    There are no elections, no official committees, no officers or any of the other paraphernalia that one would expect from a highly organized group or club. There is, however, sufficient cohesion and common interest that things do get done.

    There are of course some rules around membership:

    • We’re a social group of friends, with a common interest, and we need to be comfortable with you being part of our group.
    • We reserve the right to refuse membership of the group, or entry to any event run under the group name, at any time.
    • If your behaviour makes other people uncomfortable, we’ll talk to you about that and give you the opportunity to change.
      If, in the end, you can’t fit in, you’ll need to go elsewhere.  The comfort of the majority of the group comes first!
    • If you break the rules, you’ll be spoken to about it and given a chance to put your side of the story. Depending on the seriousness of the breach, you’ll have another chance to get it right, or in some cases, you’ll be told you have to leave.
    • If you have a conviction of any kind, and particularly for a violence or sexual offense, you’ll need to disclose this up front.  That way a decision can be made on allowing you to join or not. 
    • If you are already a member, and you are indicted with these sorts of offenses, you’ll be immediately suspended from attending group events, and irrespective of the outcome of any court case, you may well be told you cannot continue as a member.
  • History

    The name Uncommon Bonds and the foundation of the group can be traced back to June 1998, when a group of people of like minds gathered for the first time, pretty much single handedly organized by Nigel. The Uncommon Bonds name, the first run of business cards advertising the group and the UB logo were the product of Nigel. Also present at the first munch were Master Sin and his then partner, Charles the Normal, SteveK,  and one or two others. Silk Witch was unable to attend, but was there ‘in spirit’

    From there, the group slowly grew, as more people found out about it. Munches became a thing, people ran parties in their own homes, and people shared skills as the knowledge base widened. A mailing list, initially on Yahoo Groups, began in August 2000,  The first Uncommon Bonds website went up in 2001.

    The first Spanks party was held in 2003, and has been an annual feature ever since. Uncommon Bonds has also had a presence at the Christchurch Fetish Ball for many years, since at least 2005.

  • Events
    • Events

      We hold regular monthly munches, as well as a number of play parties and workshops during the year.  We also hold a major play party each year, called Spanks

      The regular play parties are approximately once a month.  We also hold regular workshops, again around once a month.  Where the parties and workshops happen in the month varies, so it pays to check out when the next one is coming up

      If you are over 18, and a ‘known’ member of the Uncommon Bonds group and have attended a Party Orientation Workshop, or are likewise a known member of one of the other New Zealand BDSM community groups in good standing, you are generally welcome at our play parties.  We do, however, insist on people registering, normally by e-mail to  party@uncommonbonds.org.nz

      Events will be on the Calendar on this site, are also generally listed on FetLife, and you’ll see reminders for most events if you’re on the Mailing List.

    • Munches

      We hold our regular munches on the second Tuesday evening of each month. The munch has a business section which starts at 7:30 pm and people arrive from 6:30 pm onwards in order to socialise over a drink and a meal.

      We currently use the Twisted Hop , Woolston, as a venue. It is at 616 Ferry Road in Woolston  This is between Oak Street and Catherine Street. Click here for a map

      We have the function area up the stairs that you’ll see on your right. Order food and drinks from the bar downstairs.

      At the start of the business section we have a discussion around various topics such as past/upcoming events etc... this usually takes around 30 minutes, depending on how much has been happening and what is coming up, or if there is some general business item that needs to be discussed. After this why not stay, chat, socialise and just generally enjoy the rest of the evening!

      Venue closes: 11:00 pm

      If you arrive a little late, don’t be shy, come on up.

      Dress code - Munch venues are public places, so you’ll not find everyone turning up dressed for a party.  Rather, we likely seen by those not in the know as being a typical social group or club, perhaps just with a preference for black clothing.

      Donation - We collect a gold coin donation at the munch towards group funds.  It helps to pay for such things as web sites, party costs, advertising, new play equipment, etc.


    • Play Parties

      We try to hold a play party at least once every second month. They are announced on the UB mailing list and on FetLife. Sometimes they are themed, sometimes not.

      We list Play Parties on the Calendar, also on FetLife, as well as sending reminders via the Mailing List.

      Note that simply saying you are attending by clicking “Going” on FetLife does not constitute registering. This will always be done by email, to an official Uncommon Bonds email address, generally party@uncommonbonds.org.nz. The address will always be in the event listing.

      There is a general guide to Play Parties in the BDSM world located under the Information section.

      We expect those attending a play party to have attended a Party Orientation, within the previous two years.

      Always remember - what happens at a Play Party, stays at a Play Party!

    • Party Orientation

      Uncommon Bonds has a policy that, prior to attending an Uncommon Bonds play party, people attend a Party Orientation Workshop. We also recommend that longer term members do a refresher every two years.

      These workshops are a mandatory requirement before you attend an Uncommon Bonds play party.  That is, you will have attended a Party Orientation workshop run by Uncommon Bonds, or a recognized equivalent workshop with your 'home' group (often called a Safety & Ettiquette Workshop), if you are from another BDSM group within New Zealand.

      Workshops take around an hour to complete. There is a lot of material to cover, plus time for discussion, as well as socializing. They are intended to be both fun and informative.  There is no cost to attend.

      When registering for a party, please mention to the organisers if you need to attend an orientation workshop, or need directions to one already scheduled.

    • Spanks

      Uncommon Bonds hosts our major play party in late February or early March each year and invites kinky people from all over New Zealand to join us in a night of fun and excitement.  The first of these was held in 2003, and was the original “Classical Spanks” - a name that is a play on a local Christchurch event known as “Classical Sparks”, staged by the Christchurch City Council.

      • 2002 - Roman Night [not a Spanks, as such, but was a definite forerunner to it!]
      • 2003 - “Classical Spanks”
      • 2004 - “Whatever Spins Your Propeller”
      • 2005 - “Industrial Strength”
      • 2006 - “Sparks in the Dark - Whatever Flicks Your Switch”
      • 2007 - “The Devil Made Me Do It!”
      • 2008 - St Elmo’s Infirmary - “For those sick of ordinary times”
      • 2009 - “Come Pop Your cherry - Blossom”
      • 2010 - “2010 - A Spanks Odyssey”
      • 2011 - “Rock & Roll”
      • 2012 - “Carnivale & Freak Show”
      • 2013 - “Bedlam”
      • 2014 - Malice in Wonderland! - Who Stole the Tarts
      • 2015 - Spanks Sci-fi
      • 2016 - Gangsters and Molls

      Here’s some comments from attendees of Spanks 2006:-

      • “The effort you guys went to was well - awesome”
      • “I felt the vibes of the whole place was fantastic”
      • “The expert music and lighting effects gave this party a special atmosphere. Big thanks to all involved”
      • “... it was good to see lots of play and great social interaction”
    • Workshops

      Workshops come on a wide range of topics and are run frequently. Some are organized by the group as a whole, some are organized by SIGs and some are the initiative of individuals. Cost to attend workshops range from free (such as the Party Orientation workshop) to more expensive (workshops from overseas presenters, or where there are costs for consumables for the workshop) but we generally aim to keep them within reach of all members. Some workshops may also attract a UB subsidy .

      Topics range from basic (also known as ‘101’ level) through to advanced (‘301’ level or above), and cater to a wide range of skill levels and interests. They may be on a single topic, or there may be a whole range of topics covered in a single weekend.

      Like most Uncommon Bonds events, they’ll show up in the Calendar here, on FetLife and on the Mailing List. Registration for workshops is by email, and the email address will be in the event listing.

  • Links

    This page links to BDSM related sites. Contact the webmaster to be included.

    • bdsm.gen.nz
              Home to the New Zealand BDSM Leadership forum and the New Zealand BDSM Event Calendar
    • SouthernExposure.gen.nz
              BDSM and Alternative Lifestyle conference, held in Christchurch every second year.
    • www.thefetishball.com
              a local Christchurch institution!
    • www.fetlife.com
              An online community for the fetish/kink community
    • https://fetlife.com/users/3630935
              The Blue Box offers a personalised approach to sourcing & selling BDSM products for the New Zealand community
    • NZ Poly
              A discussion area and more for folks interested in polyamory
    • www.consensualcrafts.com
              A maker of top quality beds for the kinky
    • www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm
              a very good collection of BDSM related reference resources
    • www.violetwands.net
              a site that sells violet wands, attachments and related items
  • Greeters

    All of us who are involved in the face to face activities of Uncommon Bonds have probably, at one time or another, faced the hurdle of making that first contact with like minded people in the lifestyle, so we too know how scary that can feel!

    We have a group of volunteers who can help newcomers to the lifestyle and those new to Christchurch to get more involved in the life of our community.  These volunteers are known as Greeters.  You can contact them via e-mail, perhaps to arrange a chat over a coffee, chat online or whatever.  When you decide you'd like to get more involved and come along to one of our munches or workshops then you'll have at least a friendly face you'll know when you get there!

    Feel free to contact any of our Greeters, and they'll get back to you.

    The current Greeters are:-

  • Mailing List

    The group has a mailing list which functions as a noticebord and general discussion forum. It is a “closed” group, and you must request to become a member of the mailing list. Messages on the noticeboard are only readable by members. It is implemented as a Google Group. You’ll find most events will have reminders posted to this mailing list.

    Be aware that messages posted to the mailing list are optionally copied to individual members email addresses, either as individual messages or in digest form. Your email address will show on messages you post, and messages will be delivered to your subscribed email address. As such, it is best that you not use a work, school or family email address for this purpose.

    When requesting to join the mailing list please supply a brief introduction and your reasons for wishing to join. This will enable the mailing list moderators to decide if your request is from a real person, not a spammer, and the intro is visible only to these moderators, not to the list as a whole.

    Joining is a click away, approval may take some time to be handled.

    You can read the list once joined from here.

    There is also a discussion group on FetLife. This has much less privacy, as anyone on FetLife can join, and anyone signed in to FetLife can read all messages in the group. The FetLife group is here

  • Calendar

    If you cannot see the calendar, click here

Uncommon Bonds

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