Uncommon Bonds is a pansexual BDSM group, open to all aspects of the lifestyle, and is located in Christchurch, New Zealand. We hold a meeting on the second Tuesday night of every month (a “munch”) which is a combination of friendly social gathering and a planning session for the group. It is normal for newcomers to first have contact with the group at such a function.

There is no official “membership” of Uncommon Bonds - if you turn up to a meeting, and say you belong, then that’s pretty much all you need to do to belong. We do insist that members are at least 18 years of age. If you look under 25, don’t be offended if we ask you to prove you’re over 18 - it’s for everyone’s protection, yours included! There are some exclusions - if you have convictions for sexual or violent offenses, you are likely not welcome. If in doubt, make sure you ask.

There are no elections, no official committees, no officers or any of the other paraphernalia that one would expect from a highly organized group or club. There is, however, sufficient cohesion and common interest that things do get done.

There are of course some rules around membership:

  • We’re a social group of friends, with a common interest, and we need to be comfortable with you being part of our group.
  • We reserve the right to refuse membership of the group, or entry to any event run under the group name, at any time.
  • If your behaviour makes other people uncomfortable, we’ll talk to you about that and give you the opportunity to change.
    If, in the end, you can’t fit in, you’ll need to go elsewhere.  The comfort of the majority of the group comes first!
  • If you break the rules, you’ll be spoken to about it and given a chance to put your side of the story. Depending on the seriousness of the breach, you’ll have another chance to get it right, or in some cases, you’ll be told you have to leave.
  • If you have a conviction of any kind, and particularly for a violence or sexual offense, you’ll need to disclose this up front.  That way a decision can be made on allowing you to join or not. 
  • If you are already a member, and you are indicted with these sorts of offenses, you’ll be immediately suspended from attending group events, and irrespective of the outcome of any court case, you may well be told you cannot continue as a member.